Tomorrow

Today has been hard. The past few weeks have been hard. Basically I have been having a hard time since Ashton's birthday. Because I knew this was next. This time of year business is so insanely busy that I can't think straight. Literally. I am a complete mess. And on top of everything else, tomorrow has been quickly approaching. I have seen it on the horizon. I have talked about it. Prayed about it. And now I am teary about it.

It is here. Emerson is turning 5 tomorrow. Yes, all this drama is over a birthday. Birthdays are joyful. They truly are. But this one has me in a completely weepy state. My baby is going to be FIVE tomorrow. How did that happen?

There have been other birthdays. And I know there will be many more. But this one has hit me in the gut. Like a ton of bricks. Five. She is so independent. Five. She starts school next year. Five. She will be out in the world in just a few short months. Five. Have I prepared her for the world? Five. No longer a baby or a toddler but a young lady. Five. How did this happen?

I know tomorrow and this weekend will be about celebration but right now mommy is grieving. My sweet, innocent, baby is gone. Replaced with a kind, intelligent and beautiful young lady. My baby girl that I wished for my entire life is not a baby anymore. Not even close.

Let me end with a letter to my daughter.

Dear Emerson,

Tomorrow is your fifth birthday. You are so excited to finally be five. You love birthdays and can't wait to celebrate with family and friends this weekend. This year you are having a Fancy Nancy art party to incorporate two things that you love. I hope mommy can make it just as wonderful of a party as you are hoping for.

Emy, mommy loves you so much. I can't believe that you are five. I don't know where the years went. Of course I remember the day you were born. It doesn't seem like that long ago. It was the best day. You were the most beautiful baby I have ever seen. And you continue to become more beautiful every year.

 More than your beauty on the outside, your heart is so kind and loving. You look out for others. You are a great friend and a fabulous sister. You are empathetic and joyful and your laughter is completely infectious.

You are so creative and love all of the arts. You love to dance, sing, and create works of art. Your passion for art is so special. I hope you will enjoy the art lessons that mommy and daddy got you for your birthday this year.

 Last week at your school, we had teacher conferences and your teachers had nothing but great things to say. Literally they said it was hard for them to come up with something to have me work with you on. They said if they could have an entire class of Emerson's they would love it. They told me how you are kind and the best helper. All your classmates come to you with problems or when they need help. Your teachers went on and on about how intelligent and ahead for your age you are. I hope and pray that you always love school and want to be the leader.

This past few months have been full of change in our family. We spent the summer with our old house on the market and moving into a new house in a new neighborhood. I hope that you know that we did that for you. For your education. For your future. To give you the best we can. To put you in the place where we feel God wanted you to be.

The next year will be full of change too. Major changes for our family as you start kindergarten. There will be stress. Tears. Arguments and exhaustion. But it will be exciting. And fun. And a wonderful adventure. And we will do it together!

Most importantly, I hope that you know mommy and daddy are proud of you and love you to pieces. You are our big girl. Our precious angel. Our Emy Rae, M-n-M, stinkpot, babydoll, sugar, love, Emerson. You are our joy.

Love, Mommy 

 

Park Love

One of the BEST things about our new house and neighborhood is the proximity to the greatest park in Fort Worth. Seriously, it is the greatest. Every mom in the city knows of this park and agrees that it is the best. And now we are 1/2 mile from it!

So, when everyone was awake early from nap time yesterday, we jumped in the car and went to the park. We had about 30 minutes to kill before daddy came home, the weather was perfect and we live so close!

And might I add that now that the weather has cooled off, the park has been hoppin' lately:)

Mommy-Ashy Weekend

This weekend Emy and Steve went to Kansas to visit friends and see the TCU/KU football game. They left Thursday morning which meant that Ashton and I had a long weekend together. (By the way, Ashton has been saying "Emy on airplane. Daddy on airplane" all weekend long. It has been super cute.)

Can I just tell you how easy it is to have only one child??? Oh my word, this weekend has been like a vacation. Anyways, I have not done a very good job of capturing Ash lately so I made a point to shoot all weekend. I feel like these images put together a perfect picture of sweet Ash at this age.

Thursday morning our new nanny came to stay with Ash while I took Emy and Steve to the airport and then went to Panera to get some work done. He did great and was exhausted when I got home. After his nap, he had his usual snack time consisting of gummy fruit snacks and goldfish.
 This image is perfect for right now. Total MOODY two year old.

This morning we played when Ash woke up. This was a nice change of pace because normally we are rushing out the door for one reason or another. Not today!

The weather was cooler than normal and overcast, so Ashton and I got out our jeans and went to the zoo. I knew I want to try to get normal "zoo" pictures but I also made an effort to get some two-year portrait-type shots. That was a huge failure. I cannot get portrait shots of my own children. I need to leave that job to other professionals.

When we got home from the zoo it was almost naptime. Ashton cuddled up on the couch with his "ba" and all of his snuggle friends to watch Curious George.
 And tomorrow Emerson and Steve come home. Yay!

Spring Soccer recap

Well, I am going to try to get this blog up to date one post at a time. Since fall soccer just started, I might as well post the SPRING soccer recap. Yes, I am an entire season behind on blogging. Oops.

Emerson soccer team is named the Doodlebugs and they have the coolest rainbow tie-dye jerseys. All the other little girl teams are jealous. (I have no proof of this but I would be!) Since Emerson loves rainbows, this works out well! She is number 14:)

To say that Emerson loves soccer would be an understatement. She LOVES it. The first couple practices and games, she was a little timid but she has grown to love it more with each passing game.

During the games, she really does give it her all. She actually runs the entire game, which I think is impressive for her age. When she practices and plays, a part of her I have never seen before comes out. She is aggressive and strong. We are so proud of her!

Emerson with some of the other girls at the end of year soccer party.

Sitting with her new friend, Reese (who she adores) at the party.  

Getting her trophy!

Ashton is TWO!

I cannot believe that Ashton is already two. This year has absolutely flown by and my baby is not really a baby anymore. Tear.

Ashton is such a big boy. He loves all boy things, cars, trucks, blocks, balls, running, playing outside and of course climbing.

He is such a chatty little guy too. Emerson was not saying a whole lot by two but Ashton talks and talks and talks. He is using 4-5 word sentences consistently and most strangers can understand him pretty well. The week leading up to his birthday his favorite thing to tell people was, "Ashy blow out candles. Sing happy birthday to me!" He was so excited that his birthday was coming up.

Ashton is a pretty decent eater when he wants to be. He is very opinionated and also very sweet. He loves to snuggle anything...you, stuffed animals, pillows, whatever. He gives great little bear hugs and is so precious when he runs to you. He is a great sleeper and when he wakes up in the morning he has to climb into bed with you and drink his milk. It is a habit that I hope never ends.

Ashton's birthday fell on a Wednesday this year (the first day of school) and so we did a family celebration that evening. Ashy has really shown signs of wanting his own bike recently so we got him a little one for his birthday since Emerson's trike is still way too big. He LOVES it.

That night we had a little cupcake at home and Ashton was thrilled that he FINALLY got to blow out a candle and have us sing happy birthday to him.

So excited and waiting for cake!

 As for a "real" birthday party, Ash did not get one this year. Bad mommy, I know. Please remember that we moved 3 weeks before and I just could not wrap my head around a theme and invites and planning activities for little ones and decorating and all the details. Instead we had an un-party party. Makes sense right?

We had family and 4 of our closest friends over. That is it. There did end up being a bunch of kids with just the 4 families, but it was fun. There was nothing planned, they just ran around and played like kids should. Then we ate and had cake and everyone left for the TCU home opener that night.

And all I got was two measly pictures. Poor kid.
Next year buddy, we will throw you a great party! I promise:)