The night before

I haven't posted in almost 9 months. That is practically a year. And completely shameful. And I have no pictures to share in this post. Also shameful.

However, there are too many thoughts swirling in my head that I feel like need to be captured. Too much about this moment right now that I don't want to forget. So, here I am to document.

Tonight the house is quiet. By the backdoor, a new backpack and lunchbox await. A new school uniform is laid out next to new school shoes (that tie!). We have a bag full of school supplies to deliver and a packet of forms to turn in. We celebrated with food, friends and cake.

Tomorrow morning Emerson starts a new chapter for our family. Tonight I have a pit in my stomach.

Tomorrow morning everything as we know it will change. Tonight I am emotional and sentimental all bundled into one crazy mess.

Tomorrow morning, bright and early, I will walk Emerson into a huge building and leave her in a room full of strangers under the supervision of someone I met for 2 minutes. Tonight I may not sleep.

Tomorrow morning my firstborn starts kindergarten. Tonight I reminisce about the last 5 (almost 6) years with my girl.

"The days are long but the years are short". I don't know who said that first, but they are a genius. And most definitely a parent.

This day has been long approaching. I think it is the day that all mothers fear from the moment their tiny baby is born. At least I have. Tomorrow is the day that I can only pray I have prepared her for. Did my year's as a stay-at-home mom pay off? Is she ready? Mentally? Physically? Socially? And most importantly, Spritually?

Does my sweet girl know that I love her no matter what? That she can stand up to her peers? To walk away when someone is mean to her? That it is okay that she won't get everything on the first try? That somedays will be better than others? That when she comes home she can tell me everything? That Jesus will be with her all day long? Will all the things I have taught her "stick"?

This is it. Here we go. My turn is over. I am turning her out into the world for
7 hours a day to be molded, shaped, guided and taught by others. I pray that the foundation she has is enough. I pray that she will not only stand-up to pressures but that she will stand out as a light to those around her. You see, I don't want her to just succeed, I want her to thrive. I want her to be a vessel for Christ to those around her. I want her to be a beacon to so many lost souls that she will encounter.

My sweet girl, I love you more than words. I spent the greater part of this summer falling more in love with you than I already was. I soaked you up. I stared into your eyes. I was intentional in our talks. I adored all those moments and you.

I know how unbelievably excited you are about your big day tomorrow. I pray that your excitement and enthusiasm for school will stay with you always. Even on the hard days. I will miss you tomorrow. I will certainly be counting the minutes until I can pick you up. But I know that in all likelihood, you will be having too much fun to miss me all that much.

The day you have been waiting for all summer is finally here. You are ready. I will be too. I promise.

Love,  Mommy

Christmas 2012

Christmas 2012 was fantastic. And flew by. Seriously, I feel like one second it was late October and we were celebrating Emy's birthday and then I blink and Christmas is over. How does that happen every year???

This year we had lots of family in town and our kids adored all the attention. Poor Ashton picked up a cold or something right before everyone arrived and then with all the excitement he lost so much sleep that he just couldn't kick it. The day our last guest left, he took TWO naps and slept 13 hours that night. And guess who was almost 100% better the next morning? Amazing what sleep can do for you:)

I really tried to get a Christmas tree pic with the kids this year. Did. Not. Happen. This is the best I got. And it is not even technically correct. One of my favorite memories from Christmas this year is the party hosted on the 21st. It was a completely last minute affair but it worked out that almost everyone on the guest list could attend. Of course there were last minute issues and some had to bail but we had about 25 adults and 20 kids under 6 that came. It was a full house but so fun!

We had a bounce house set up outside for kids, a Christmas craft area to entertain them inside and then when it was time to eat, we piled the kids on a blanket in the living room and turned on Polar Express and it worked like magic. They all ate. They all stayed put. It was amazing. Of the entire fun party, those were really the only pictures I took. Shame on me. But to my defense I was just having too much fun:) Fast forward to Christmas Eve. Yes, three whole days later. I didn't take one single picture for three days. Awful, I know. Anyways, here are the kids before Christmas Eve service at church. Ashton was obviously being a complete goof:) After church we raced home and had a lot to accomplish before the kids went to bed. We had birthday cake and sang happy birthday to Jesus. We read the last of the advent stories. We said goodbye to our elf, Clifford. We put out cookies and milk for Santa and reindeer food for Rudolph and his friends. The kids opened their traditional gifts from their grandparents- pjs:) And my most cherished Christmas Eve tradition is when my grandmother reads The Night Before Christmas to the kids. On their way to bed:) After the kids were in bed Santa's helpers went to work... Christmas morning tradition of opening stockings in mommy and daddy's room. This is a sweet tradition but it was established as a necessity...The kids wake up so early and are ready to roll. Normally our house guests are not up yet nor are those who are staying in hotels. So, this tradition buys us a little time while everyone gets up and over to our house. The kids never seem to notice the delay:) Everyone finally arrived and breakfast was ready and it was time to go see what Santa had brought. We make our way into the living room and I pause. It was a super stormy morning. Stormy, as in thunder and lightning and pouring rain. We started opening gifts at about 8:30 and it was still pitch black outside. It was weird. And it didn't feel like Christmas. And it made for HORRIBLE lighting. And I am a lighting snob and refuse to use a flash. So, here is Christmas morning in black and white:)

Santa does not wrap gifts at our house. So, the kids always go to them first and play for a few minutes before we dive into everything else. Yes, Emerson is holding a real camera. Santa took a big chance this year because she did not ask for anything specific. Luckily, Santa made a good choice and she LOVES it. And she has been very responsible with it as Santa had hoped:)
 This was right before the "grand finale's", a.k.a. things too big to wrap. We told the kids to cover their eyes while daddy brought them in. I couldn't help but laugh at Ashton...
 A new scooter for Ash and a big girl bike for Emy.
 The rain finally subsided and gave way to snow. This made for much better lighting:) But also led to practicing new outdoor toys indoors!

After gifts, the kids played and played. Mommy got the table set for Christmas dinner. We had 9 for dinner. I love hosting in our new home.
 The kids enjoying some of their new books. And yes, they stayed in their pj's all day.
 When the snow finally stopped, the kids went out for about 3 minutes to play. They didn't last long because it was so cold!
 We were all blessed this Christmas but the most cherished gift to me was the collection of snowflakes that my grandmother gave me. They are made of shells and reflect the light so beautifully. They were hers and have always adorned the windows in her home since I was a little girl. They were always my favorite in her home growing up. They ARE Christmas to me. They make me smile and my heart warm. When she got up to DFW a couple days before Christmas she gave them to me and I immediately put them up. There are 7 of them and they look just perfect in the many windows in our living spaces. I absolutely cannot wait to get them out next year!
 The day after Christmas it warmed up slightly and some of the snow melted and the kids FINALLY got to test out their new rides outside.

Sweet Ashton

What happens when your baby's birthday falls right at the beginning of your busiest time of year? His 2-year pictures get put off for 3 months. Sorry buddy.

I knew I didn't want to do anything super formal for Ashton's 2-year pictures. It was more important for me to capture the essence of who he is now. And he is all boy.

So, while Emerson was at art class this afternoon, Ashton and I set out to explore an empty field that I have been wanting to check out. It was the perfect setting for boy pictures. He could run and play. Find sticks and rocks. Get dirty and be rowdy. We had fun. He had my full attention, which is rare, and he soaked it up. And I soaked him up.

The amount of love I have for this little man is absolutely overwhelming. Literally. Sometimes I am gasping for breath at the thought of his preciousness.

Anyways, there were way too many from this afternoon that I loved, so I threw most into collages in hopes of telling a story. This is Ashton at 2 (and 3 months).

Family day at the arboretum

I finally had a weekend off. It has been 7 weeks since I had a full weekend off (and that was when Steve and Emy were out of town- so even longer since the 4 of us were together AND I had a weekend off). Anyways, this weekend the opportunity presented itself for me to have the entire weekend off. No shoots. No editing. Nothing.

I jumped at the chance. The weather was great. The kids were great. Steve was great. It was blissful.

Saturday morning we headed to the Dallas Arboretum. I am there fairly frequently but Steve and the kids have never been. The timing was perfect since the always beautiful arboretum still had two special exhibits going on- the pumpkin village and the Chihuly glass exhibit.

The kids (and Steve and I) had a blast! It wasn't that crowded and it was the perfect amount of exploration and playing for everyone.

Everything was perfect until we decided to stop at the outdoor cafe on our way out for a quick bit of lunch. I guess the birds around the cafe are used to getting fed because they kept landing on our chairs and table looking for scraps and it was scaring the daylights out of Emy and Ash. Literally, blood curdling screams every time  bird landed near. Steve and I were cracking up though. Bad parents:)

Emerson's 5th birthday party

Emerson was very specific when I asked her what she wanted to do for her party, "I want a Fancy Nancy art party" she said. Okay. Not sure what that is but let's run with it.

Fancy Nancy is one of Emy's current loves. If you are not familiar with this character, she is a little girl (age 6 or 7 I think) who likes all things fancy. She dresses fancy. Talks with big fancy words. And does everything with flair. She really is a cute character.

Like any typical 5 year old, Emy is obsessed with different toys and characters every month. Her taste is always changing. One thing has stayed constant since she was a baby. Emerson loves art. LOVES it. So, her request for an art party was not a surprise at all.

I had a few road blocks when planning Emerson's party this year. 1. I wasn't sure how to tie Fancy Nancy and Art Party together. 2. Emerson's birthday happens to fall smack dab into my busiest time of year business wise and therefore my time allotted for party prep was really small.

In the end I decided to basically plan an art party and then decorate it "fancy". It definitely was not the most coordinated and themed party ever but it was girly and artsy and Emerson loved it.

We decorated with tons of streamers and sparkly tulle and lace placemats. We hung balloons overhead. When we put them up Emy said, "Oh Mommy. I love that. Can we keep it like that forever?" It was cute.

The kids arrived and got to pick out some "pearls" and a ribbon halo to wear. They had to get "fancied up". Then they snacked and painted a "mural" on a wall while we waited for everyone to arrive. When all the guests were here, the kids had an art lesson with Miss Kristi. They painted cupcakes. After the art class, the kids got to decorate their own cupcakes. Then it was time to sing Happy Birthday. Afterwards, the kids went back to painting and some just ran off the sugar high.

Overall, Emerson had a blast. She loved having all of her closest friends with her. She loved getting fancy and obviously, loved the art. Afterwards she kept hugging me and saying, "Mommy thank you so much for the best party. You are the best mommy". Can't beat that!