Friday, August 28, 2009

School School School

So, today was meet-the-teacher at Emerson's new school. It went really well. Her teacher, Miss Tracie, seems really nice and seems to really, really know what she is doing. The class sizes at Emy's school are really small and I love that. Her class only has 5 kids in it, herself, 3 other girls and one lonely boy...Although she played with the boy the entire time today so maybe he won't be so lonely.

Emerson was on the waitlist to get into this school for 14 months. I am told that it is the best. It is also the cheapest- sweet! I am thrilled that she finally got in and even more thrilled that she will be going 2 days a week instead of 1 day. I truly believe that 2 days for her will make for an easier transition than 1 would.

See, the thing is that I have to keep reminding myself how thrilled I am because inside I am FREAKING OUT. No, I am not one of those moms who cannot leave her child. I am fine with having time away from Emy, in fact I really, really like the time away. However, time away from her normally means she is with Steve or a grandparent whom she loves. No big deal.

Anyone who has read this blog more than once knows that Emerson has a big problem with seperation anxiety coupled with the fact that she is terribly shy. The thought of her in a new classroom with a bunch of strangers screaming in fear because she thinks mommy has left her brings tears to my eyes- literally. That is the thought that keeps popping in my head. Over and over. Every day. Everywhere. I can't make it go away.

I try to fill my mind with all the good things about school like how this will likely encourage her to talk more, that she will have so much fun playing games and learning new things, that she will eventually come out of her shell a little and learn to trust others. There are SO MANY great things to come from this. I know she is the perfect age to start. It is perfect timing for our family. It is the school I have wanted her to get into. Everything is perfect except the fact that I am FREAKING OUT.

All I can do is pray. Lord, please don't let her cry to long when I leave. Please let her adjust quickly so the crying does not last weeks and weeks. Please give me the strength to just walk away like the teachers say to. And most of all please help me not to cry in front of Emerson...that would quite possibly be the last straw for her.

And for fun, here is Emerson smiling because she just got a handful of nacho cheese doritos- as if you could not tell from her crusty teeth!



bethany said...

Oh, I know how you feel. I am having this exact same worry about Jakson. We've never even gotten a babysitter-I've always left him with friends that he knows really well. I just have to keep telling myself-he will be fine! Because chances are, they both will be!
But I'll be praying just to make sure :)

Lauren said...

Oh my goodness; it's time for school already??

I know it is hard. I would feel the exact same way!!! I'll pray for you, too. And Emy.

Allison said...

School will be great Sabrina....she will love it and so will you!

Kylie said...

Bless your heart. I so understand. The first day I took Hudson to a school, a program that two of my closest friends run even, I was nervous for days and cried all the way home. He did better than I expected. I pray Emy does, too. I really will be praying for Wednesday to go smoothly and that she (and you!) will have a wonderful day and an easier-than-expected transition.

Amy said...

Prepare, prepare, prepare... She understands what you tell her. Start talking to her every day about school and how much fun it's going to be, and why, and how you're going to leave because mommies are too old for school, but she's just the right age and it's going to be a blast because she'll learn numbers, her alphabet, etc, she'll be the smartest girl ever... she'll get to play with the other kids who are loads of fun, etc. Tell her it every hour on the hour, and then pray for YOU! It will be great. And yes, WALK AWAY FAST if you're going to cry! She'll be fine. These people are very experienced with children and separation anxiety. They'll distract her quickly and get her playing. I bet you anything it will be harder for you than her!